Keeping your child safe on the internet.

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Because of this, and because chat rooms are particularly popular with children and teenagers, there is a small risk that they can be used by paedophiles or sex abusers looking for victims.

Adults who want to exploit children might pose as teenagers themselves, try to strike up a friendship and eventually,

try to meet a child or teenager. This is why the first rule of chat rooms is NEVER to reveal any personal details – that includes full name, address, telephone number, email address and mobile number. (Read more)

But how can I get involved in all this? I feel completely overwhelmed by the Internet and my children know much more about it than I do.
You can do a great deal. You can certainly be a good parent or carer and teach safety issues even if you don’t know exactly how the technology works.

Take an interest in what your child does online and if you don’t know how to use the Internet, ask your
child to show you.

Let them know they can come to you if something upsetting does happen.

You can also get across the most important safety message about chat rooms.

That is, everyone your child meets in chat rooms is a stranger – and remains a stranger even though your child may consider them to be a friend.

Surfing the Internet from the comfort and safety of home can give a false sense of security.

Isn’t all this a bit far fetched?
The risk is small but it is real and the consequences can be very serious.

In October 2000, a 33-year-old man was imprisoned for having sex with a 13-year-old girl he had met in a chat room.

He had built up a relationship with her over several months – a process known as grooming – before they finally met.

There have been many other cases, and those who try to contact children online may be abusing children offline as well.

I still don’t understand how it can happen. If chat rooms are public places, available to all, everyone else would see what was going on.
Once you are in a chat room, you can be invited to have a one-to-one conversation with someone.

This is like stepping out of a party full of people into a private room and having a separate conversation with a stranger.

No one else can read what is being written. It could be extremely dangerous. Getting a child on their
own, and building up a relationship, is exactly what a paedophile wants.

So discourage your child from having a one-to-one conversations. They should stay in the public area of the chat room, which is open to all, and where they should be much safer.

So that’s why they shouldn’t give out any personal details?
Exactly. Tell your child they should never reveal information about their name, address, password or school.

Sometimes children think it’s OK to give out a mobile phone number or their email address.

It isn’t. It gives a stranger direct access to your child, and you have no way of knowing who is contacting them.

Even something that seems harmless, like who they’re playing hockey or football against next week, or where their favourite pizza restaurant is, could be a clue to their identity.

Just as they wouldn’t give personal details to a stranger in the street, so it should be with people they meet in chat rooms.

What if they become so friendly with someone they chat with online that they want to meet them in person?
Then always go along too, and arrange to meet in a public place where there are lots of people around. Children and teenagers should NEVER arrange to meet anyone they have encountered online without a responsible adult being present.

What else can I do to keep my child safe?
Advise them against opening links to other sites they might be sent in a chat room (they may be pornographic). Similarly, they shouldn’t open emails from anyone they don’t know (again, they may contain pornographic or upsetting images, or viruses which could harm your computer).

This could also be a way for the sender to discover personal details about yourself.

If they are being pestered by someone they don’t like in a chat room, there will probably be a facility to block messages from that person.

What if something unpleasant happens while they are actually in a chat room?
They can leave the chat room. Alternatively, chat rooms usually offer the option to block messages from other users.

So if someone repeatedly types things your child doesn’t like, they can block them from their computer screen. Some chat rooms also let you report abusive behaviour by clicking on an appropriate link.

How do you tell if a chat room is suitable?
Chat rooms are given names, such as ‘Teenage Romance’.

Teenagers should be encouraged to use only those rooms that are appropriate to their age.

This is because so-called ‘adult’ chat rooms are sexually explicit, where people indulge in what is known as ‘cybersex’.

How can I encourage my child to use appropriate chat rooms?
At the top of your Internet browser, which is the technology that lets you navigate the Internet, there will probably be the word 'Favourites’.

This lets you add to a folder web addresses that you often use, or don’t want to forget.You could save the address of child-friendly chat rooms here, and agree with your child that he or she will use only these.

Wouldn’t it be better to avoid using the Internet altogether?
Not at all. Despite the potential for problems, it really is an amazing tool for learning and information.

Knowing how to use it effectively is increasingly important and necessary.What’s more, chatting online, or Instant Messaging can be a way to cut your phone bills, if you have free or low-cost

Internet access in the evenings or at weekends. If you overreact, your child may clam up or simply use the Internet elsewhere.

Just drive home the safety messages so your child can feel confident about protecting him or herself.

If I see something illegal or suspicious, is there anyone I can report it to?
Yes. If you think your child is being contacted by a paedophile, call the police. If you come across material you think is illegal, for example child pornography, contact the Internet Watch Foundation.

This is an industry-funded body which seeks to have illegal material removed from the Internet and refers it on to the police.

The telephone hotline is 08456 008844 or report it online at www.iwf.org.uk/hotline/report.htm

Alternatively, contact the police Child Pornography Information Line on freephone: 0808 100 0040.

Why don’t ISPs (Internet Service Providers) do something about chat rooms?
ISPs provide the connection to the Internet, just as a telephone company provides access to the phone lines.

They can’t control what other companies put on the Internet, any more than a telephone company can control what people say on the phone but some ISPs run their own, sometimes more regulated, chat
rooms and they and other chat service providers should be happy to explain any safety features which their services have. Don’t be afraid to ask.

What about schools? Don’t they teach children about
Internet safety?
Throughout the UK, pupils are taught how to use email to communicate and how to evaluate different sources of information (including websites).

They are also encouraged to appreciate the need for responsible use of these technologies in order to protect information, individuals and society.

Schools build key safety messages into these topics, with a view to making sure that pupils understand the safe behaviours to adopt when online.

It is important for you to let your child know that you are aware of these safety messages and to reinforce them at home.

What about chat rooms that are supervised?
These are called ‘moderated’ chat rooms and may use a real person or special technology to block personal details, and keep the conversation appropriate.

They sound like a good idea.
They are a step in the right direction but the technology isn’t foolproof and if chat rooms use human supervisors, ask the provider of the chat rooms how they have been recruited and trained.

Even if the chat room is moderated, the same safety rules apply.

It all makes me feel powerless and worried...
It shouldn’t. The important thing to remember is that you can help your child be in control. Children like to feel they have tools to cope.

If you explain the safety messages, you are giving them something useful and valuable.

Though the Internet is a new medium, the safety messages will be familiar. Just as you have taught them about talking to strangers in the real world, so you can teach them here.

Are chat rooms the only places where they can make contact with strangers?
No. They can also meet people online in places called newsgroups, communities, groups or clubs, and by using Instant Messaging.

But the good news is that the same rules apply: NO personal details; NO meeting up with anyone in person unless they are accompanied by an adult.

Are there danger signs I can look for?
A child spending an excessive amount of time online could be a worrying sign. Only you as a parent or carer can decide what is excessive, but if it dominates their social activities, you may decide it is too much.

Talk of a ‘boyfriend’ or ‘girlfriend’ they have met online may also be a cause for concern.

What about pornography?
Pornography is very easy to find on the Internet, even by accident. Encourage your child to tell you if they find something online that disturbs them. Reassure them that it is not their fault and that they will not be punished as a result.

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